A Second Shot
by WhatWouldDesmondDo
Summary: Eli and Clare, starting with first day back at school after Vegas Night. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

ELI

I didn't want to go to school.

I mean, it wasn't like I normally loved school, but before the break, things had been going okay. I had Adam there, who was probably my best friend. I was getting good grades- if you don't count history. I had Clare.

Now that was all up in the air.

Adam's mom wouldn't let him come over the entire break. As soon as she found out about my involvement in the incident at Vegas Night, she had immediately forbidden him from ever seeing me again. Adam had texted me a few times, but without an excuse to leave the house, I spent the entire break sitting in my room, thinking about Clare.

I had messed up. Big time. How many times had she told me to drop it? To ignore Fitz? But of course I didn't. Of course I had to be stubborn, to goad him. Even when I had the chance to end it once and for all, I managed to screw it up.

Like everything.

And now I had to go to school, and face her. Could I blame her if she hated me? If she blamed me for everything, if she wanted nothing to do with me?

Thinking about that possibility suddenly made it hard to breathe. Clare hating me would be a hundred times worse than wearing this stupid uniform. Khaki pants and a red polo? Ugh. NOT my style.

I was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast when my dad came in.

'Morning,' he said gruffly.

'Morning,' I answered. My dad and I weren't exactly close. I don't think he ever got over my mom leaving us when I was only four, and I don't think he was too jazzed about raising a kid by himself. He pretty much leaves me to myself and I do the same to him. But however distant we may be, he's an alright dad. He makes sure I eat and get home at a decent time, and it seemed like he really cared when I got home from Vegas Night.

FLASHBACK

I walked in the door, still shaking like a leaf. I really had no idea how I had managed to drive home safely, I was trembling so bad. Whatever I'd said to Clare about not letting Fitz scare me was a lie. Standing there, thinking I was about to die with Clare watching me, me being her Julia, was the most terrifying experience of my life.

'Eli?' My dad walked into my room. 'You okay?'

I looked up and my dad's eyebrows shot up. 'What happened? You're pale as a ghost.'

I don't even know how it happened, but suddenly there I was, spilling everything to my father. I told him about Fitz breaking the hood ornament, how he tried to hurt Adam, about the fake ID. I told him about Clare, and how much she meant to me. I told him all about the dance and everything that happened. It most uncharacteristic of me, but it was my dad who shocked me after I'd finished. He hugged me. Maybe that isn't supposed to be a weird thing, I don't know, but I can't remember him ever doing it before.

We hadn't really talked much since.

I shook myself out of the memory. My dad turned to face me. 'Remember son, we've got that meeting after school.'

Oh, yeah. Simpson had called last week to set up a disciplinary meeting for Clare and I. Our parents even had to go.

'Yeah, dad. I'll see you then.' I put on my black blazer (at least I got to keep that) and left for school.

CLARE

I put on my khaki skirt and purple polo and looked at myself in the mirror. Ugh. Normally Alli and I disagreed about fashion choices, but I wholeheartedly agreed with her on this one. Uniforms completely took away our right to personal expression! I thought of Eli in it and smiled, before everything came back to me. My smile disappeared.

Frankly, I was surprised I had managed to put it out of my head for even a second. Eli, Fitz, Vegas Night- it was all I had thought of the entire two week break. How scared I had been. How Eli made me feel. What I had said to him afterwards- 'If it's this, then I can't be with you.'

I had run home and cried.

Yes, I had meant what I said. I hated violence. I hated Eli being hurt. I hated having to watch him almost die. But I couldn't picture him not being there anymore. Even though I hadn't even known him that long, even though we'd been an official couple for about eight hours before Vegas Night, he meant so much to me.

And I hadn't talked to him for two whole weeks.

What if he hated me? I had certainly played my own part in this- I was the one who agreed to go with Fitz, and then tried to force Eli to apologize. I was dreading school, not only because of the disciplinary meeting and the new rules. The truth was, I didn't want to know if he didn't like me anymore. I don't think I could take it. It was bad enough over the break with my parents fighting constantly. I sighed and went downstairs. My mother was sitting at the table, her eyes red and puffy.

'Good morning Clare,' she said stiffly. My parents hadn't been too happy when Simpson called to tell them that I had set off the stink bomb. It had come up in several of their fights, my mother convinced I was rebelling because of them.

'Good morning, Mom,' I answered tentatively.

'That meeting is at 3:30, right?'

'Yeah,' I answered. 'Is dad going to be there too?'

She set down her glass of orange juice so hard that the table shook. 'Yes,' she said, breathing it. 'If I have anything to say about it.' She stalked out of the room.

I sighed. This day was going to be _great._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

ELI

Morty grumbled as I pulled into the parking lot at Degrassi. Slamming the door shut, I turned and faced the school.

Simpson hadn't been joking around when he said we wouldn't recognize this place at all.

Police were at every entrance, checking bags and waving students through metal detectors. I felt a knot in my stomach as I realized that I had played a major part in this stupid reform.

'Eli!'

I turned. Adam was hurrying towards me, clad in the same hideous pants as me, but wearing a dark purple polo instead.

'Dude!' he said. 'How suckish is this?'

I didn't even have time to respond before he shook his head and answered himself.

'The _worst._ Look, Eli, I'm sorry I couldn't hang out over the break. My mom's kind of crazy.' He rolled his eyes. 'And don't worry about Fitz. He's gone, it's a new semester- fresh start!'

'Yeah,' I muttered. Adam raised his eyebrows.

'Are you mad at me? For not hanging out?'

What? I had to let out a half-chuckle at that. 'Of course not, idiot. I've just got a lot of stuff on my mind. Like how I'm going to get Clare to talk to me.'

'Why wouldn't she talk to you?' Adam asked, confused.

'Let's see,' I said sarcastically. 'I had the chance to end things with Fitz like she wanted. I decided to put ipecac in his drink instead. I nearly got myself stabbed, and the last time I saw her she was telling me that if things were going to continue like this, she couldn't be with me. I'm sure she's just jazzed to see me right now.'

'You haven't seen her since Vegas Night?' Adam asked, surprised.

'Nope,' I answered, the knot in my stomach growing.

'Look, buddy,' Adam said seriously. 'You can't put everything on you. Yeah, you pushed the limits with Fitz. But he was the one who brought the knife out, okay? He's the one who's in juvie. I'm sure that Clare was just really freaked out. It's not like you guys are over, right?'

'I don't know,' I muttered, kicking Morty. 'We kind of left things open-ended.'

'Well, you can't be over,' Adam said in a final sort of way. 'You were dating officially for what, six hours? That would be the shortest, lamest relationship ever. You and Clare have been through enough that you deserve more than that.'

I looked appreciatively at Adam. I knew he didn't like being the third wheel, or the go between, so it meant a lot that he cared enough to try and push Clare and I together.

'Thanks, Adam.'

'Don't mention it. Sometimes you just got to stick up for your bud- even if your bud is the one you're sticking up to.' He grinned and I couldn't help smirking back as I remembered when I'd first said that.

'Oh,' he said. 'There she is.'

I felt my knees buckle and I grabbed Morty for support as I turned.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

CLARE

My stomach twisted around as Alli and I walked up to Degrassi. _Eli. Eli. Eli. I'm going to see Eli! What should I do? What should I say? Should I say anything? Should I wait for him to say something? Ugh!_ Things were more complicated between us than they had ever been before. Alli would probably know what to do, but asking Alli for relationship advice these days would only start a rant about how much of a slut Bianca is, how much Drew hurt her, and how much she hated his mother, which would end with a lot of tears and leave you with nothing but a whole lot of regret.

'Clare! Are you listening to ANYTHING that I'm saying?' Alli said in frustration.

'Sorry,' I muttered.

Alli huffed and continued. 'Look,' she said pointedly. Police were standing at the entrance, checking people's bags and making them go through metal detectors. My jaw dropped. I knew Simpson had been serious when he had sent everybody a newsletter informing everyone of the changes, but seeing it in person still shocked me.

'This is ridiculous!' I said. 'We're living in a police state!'

Alli sighed and sat down on a bench. 'If Fitz hadn't been such an idiot, it wouldn't be like this.' She gave me another look. 'Are you FINALLY going to tell me what exactly happened?'

I sat next to her, avoiding her gaze. While the whole school knew that Fitz had had a knife and had almost stabbed Eli, and most of the school knew I had been there as well, no one really knew the details. Away from everything at my grandmother's house, I had only spoken to Alli a few times since Vegas Night and most of the conversations had been centered around Drew. When she did bring it up, I had managed to find excuses not to answer every time. But school was starting again, and typical Alli, she had to know the gossip.

'Look,' I said, hesitating. I took a deep breath. Alli was my best friend, right? She had a right to know. I launched into a long and detailed explanation, determinedly staring at my feet the whole time. When I had finally finished, I turned to look at her face. Her eyebrows were up. WAY up.

'How did my little Saint Clare get mixed up in all of THAT?' she said disbelievingly.

'You already knew most of it,' I muttered.

'It all seems like a much bigger deal now that we're _living in a police state_,' she said, air quoting me. 'I still can't believe that YOU set off the stinkbomb!'

'My parents can't either,' I said miserably.

'Oh man,' she said. 'I can only imagine what my parents would do. I'd probably be in even more trouble than Sav!'

'How is he, by the way?'

'The student council president was caught making out with the VP in the theatre in the middle of a school crisis,' she said, rolling her eyes. 'He's not only in deep trouble with my parents, he's also responsible for half the new rules- no being in classrooms unsupervised, uniforms, no PDA…I would say he's pretty embarrassed right now.'

I tried to smile, but my lips were suddenly feeling extremely dry and my tongue seemed like it was glued to the roof of my mouth. The twisting in my stomach had also gotten ten times worse, because I had just spotted Eli and Adam across the parking lot and Adam was pointing right at me.

ELI

'Be cool, dude,' Adam instructed as we watched Clare say something to Alli and then get up, walking in our direction.

I tried to rearrange my face into something cool. What the hell was wrong with me? I didn't GET like this. Yeah, of course I had my moments where I was somewhat less than composed. But I had been living in this twisted, obsessive, depressed state for two weeks now. I barely recognized myself.

It was definitely the khaki pants.

Clare stood in front us. Even in the purple polo and khaki skirt she managed to look good. I looked at her face. She seemed even paler than usual, biting her lip and looking at me with an odd expression on her face- half beseeching, half- well, I couldn't exactly put my finger on it. Sad? Angry? Scared? Sick? Maybe a mixture of them.

'Hey, Clare!' Adam said enthusiastically.

'Hey, Adam….Eli,' she said, looking a bit more like herself as she smiled at Adam, but I couldn't help but note the hesitation in her voice when she said my name. Still, I thought, she was acknowledging me. This was a good thing.

'How was your break?' Adam asked her.

'It was fine,' she answered. 'What about you?'

'Alright, I guess. My mom kind of went crazy and banned me from seeing Eli here, so I didn't really get out much.' He let out an awkward laugh. The whole situation was awkward, in fact, but I appreciated the kid for trying.

'Anyways,' he continued. 'I'm sure you guys have a lot to talk about, so I'm just going to go talk to Drew!' He sped away.

I take that back. I want to throttle him.

I glanced at Clare and saw a slightly panicked expression on her face. So she didn't want to be alone with me either.

We stared at each other for a solid minute.

_Say something, Eli, _a voice in my head went.

'So,' I said awkwardly. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm not the one who was almost stabbed,' she answered.

I chuckled nervously. 'I'm fine, Clare.'

'Are you _handling_ it?'

The bitterness in her voice surprised me, and I think it surprised her herself.

'I'm sorry,' she said immediately, flushing. 'That was uncalled for.'

'No,' I said. 'I deserved it.'

She bit her lip again, as the stupidity of my actions came flooding back to me. Clare warning me about Fitz, time and time again. _I'll handle it_, I told her, time and time again.

'I'm sorry for not calling you,' she said.

'Don't be,' I said. What I meant to say was: You don't need to apologize for anything.

She furrowed her brow. 'Did you think about what I said? On Vegas Night?'

That was one of the many things I loved about Clare. She was very direct.

Wait. Did I just say love?

Did I _love_ her?

I contemplated this, my heart feeling like it was about to jump out of my chest. I certainly had feelings for her. I'd been an idiot to try and deny that in the first place. I looked deep into her eyes, hoping to find the answer- and realized she had been waiting for a response for a good thirty seconds.

'Whatever, Eli,' she muttered, and turned around.

'No, Clare- wait!' I grabbed her arm and turned her back around.

'You were right,' I said. 'About Fitz. I should have just apologized and ended things.'

'Even though you weren't the only one in the wrong?' she tested.

I took a deep breath. 'Yes,' I said. 'I've been on the receiving end of bullying my whole life. I thought the best way to deal with them was to fight back, keep them scared- but after I saw my life flash before my eyes, after…after you were put in danger because of it…I realized you were right. Nothing good can come from violence.'

She looked oddly touched, and the anger seemed to have dissipated.

'That means a lot, Eli,' she said.

'So what does this mean…for us?' I was shocked at my own forthcoming. Normally I'm more subtle about this kind of things. And when I say subtle, what I mean is withdrawing completely. God, these Stupid. Khaki. Pants.

'I think,' Clare said slowly, 'that we should maybe take things slowly here.'

'Right,' I replied, my heart breaking a little.

'I just mean that maybe jumping straight into a relationship isn't the best idea around,' she continued.

I reasoned with myself that she had given me time when I had needed it. I resolved to do the same with her.

'Logical,' I replied, managing a smirk. The simple action made me feel a little more like myself.

'So…' she said. 'I'll see you and Adam at lunch?'

'Is that an invitation?'

'Do you want it to be?' Her whole expression had brightened.

I smirked again before answering. 'Yes.'


End file.
